Harder Than It Looked
by Eilonwyn
Summary: Set at the end of Ep. 7, "The Gates of Avalon." Did anyone else notice that Arthur and Merlin are just "magically" back at the castle the next day? An addendum and epilogue... Generally non-slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Please note: This begins right in between scenes in the episode "The Gates of Avalon," so it's probably not going to make any sense unless you've seen that episode. **

Merlin heaved the unconscious Arthur out of the lake, wondering, _Now what?_ He really hadn't thought beyond the point of _save Arthur from evil Sidhe people_. Also, the full armor Arthur was wearing made him incredibly heavy, even though he was still half-submerged in the buoying lake.

And that was the least of his problems. Looking down at him, Merlin realized in panic that the prince wasn't breathing. "Arthur?" he called frantically, towing him as fast as he could back to shore. "Arthur, can you hear me? You have to wake up. Please." There was no answer.

As quickly as he could, Merlin towed his friend through the water and dragged him up onto the dirt, sand, and rocks by the side of the lake. Turning him onto his stomach, Merlin hit him as hard as he could on his back with both fists, trying to be rhythmic. "Come on..." he muttered desperately, over and over. "Come on, Arthur..."

Water came pouring out of the prince's mouth onto the ground. After several moments when the flow lessened, he coughed convulsively and started to breathe again, gasping and coughing although his eyes were still shut.

Relieved, Merlin turned his attention to removing Arthur's armor. He glared at his cold, numb fingers in annoyance as they fumbled, trying to undo the wet fastenings. Even he wasn't normally this slow. If Arthur had been conscious, he would have been haranguing him mercilessly by now. _Some time today would be nice, Merlin, if you don't mind..._

Finally, he got all the armor off and onto a loose pile on the ground beside Arthur. Part of him wondered, worried, whether his friend should have woken up by now, but he had been under an enchantment that had been violently removed, not to mention him having been nearly drowned; besides, at this particular moment Merlin was more worried with removing the chain-mail coat Arthur wore under his armor. The metal so close to his skin would only make him colder and help retain the moisture of the wet clothing underneath. The day was cool, and it was late afternoon, edging quickly into early evening; had Merlin been paying attention, he would have noticed that he himself was shaking violently in his drenched clothes.

Awkwardly, he heaved Arthur into a sitting position and maneuvered his lifeless arms in a way that allowed him to pull the ungainly metal garment over his head. As an afterthought, he pulled off Arthur's drenched shirt as well, and laid him down gently on the ground, putting a friendly hand on his shoulder as though trying to reassure the unconscious man. He got to his feet, stumbling slightly, and searched the nearby lakeside for the dry jacket that he knew he'd left there. Where had he put it? It had only been a couple of minutes ago, but he couldn't remember.

But he knew it had to be nearby, so he just searched the nearby lakeshore until he found the familiar brown object. Returning to his friend, he carefully draped it over his chest, tucking it around him. Unfortunately, Merlin was far too skinny for the jacket to fit on Arthur in the proper manner, but it served well enough at a blanket nevertheless.

Merlin sat down beside Arthur and stared at him for several minutes before realizing he had no idea what to do next. Again, he hadn't seemed to have thought beyond a certain point. He was angrily at himself - normally, he was nowhere near this shortsighted, no matter what Arthur might frequently say to the contrary. Arthur seemed to be relatively out of danger of drowning, hypothermia, evil magical creatures or any other similar immediate danger as far as Merlin could see, but he should still have Gaius check him as soon as possible.

The only question was, how to get him back to the castle? Merlin realized with chagrin that he had no reliable way of getting the prince back to Camelot by himself. He considered trying to carry the heavier prince back all the way he had run in the swiftly-falling darkness, but that was ridiculous. And he could hardly leave him helpless here without protection while he went back to fetch horses.

Disgusted with himself, Merlin headed off into the trees by the lake and collected branches, both dry and green ones, then dug a small well in the dirt a few feet from Arthur's still form and used his magic to light a fire. The resulting small blaze sent smoke spiraling into the air high above them. Hoping someone friendly would see his signal, Merlin turned to Arthur to make sure he was reasonably comfortable, then sat down on the other side of the fire. Suddenly, he was completely exhausted. Heedless of the chill night breeze, his still-wet clothes, and the complete lack of any kind of covering for himself, the warlock huddled into a small ball by the fire and was asleep in seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

It was completely dark and very cold, with the fire he had lit emitting only a small waning light, when Merlin woke to dimly sense someone shaking his shoulder.

"Merlin!" Gaius repeated for what was probably the twentieth time. He sounded urgent and more than a little annoyed.

"Sorry," he mumbled to the physician, rolling upright and looking around him. "You found me, then..."

"You're just lucky I'm the one who came after your signal," Gaius chided him. "Really, Merlin. How could you have been so irresponsible?"

"I did the best I could with the time I had," Merlin said simply. "Which wasn't much. What are we going to do about Arthur?"

"Unlike someone I know," Gaius said pointedly, "_I_ brought horses with me. We'll carry Arthur back into Camelot as quietly as we can and just hope nobody notices."

"That's it?" asked Merlin, but then a better question occurred to him. "Shouldn't he be awake by now?"

"He hasn't woken since you rescued him?" Gaius checked.

Merlin shook his head. "He wasn't breathing when I got him out of the water. It was way too close a call. I only got there just in time." He shivered at the thought of what might have happened if he'd been any later.

Gaius had moved away from him and was examining Arthur. He raised one of his eyelids experimentally as he spoke. "He seems to be all right. He'll probably wake up by the morning."

"That's good, at least." Merlin pushed himself to his feet, trying to shake the last vestiges of tiredness away from his body; the world spun sickeningly for a few seconds before falling back into place. Together, Merlin and Gaius managed somehow to sling Arthur over the back of one of the horses. Merlin looked down at the horses' hooves and was relieved to see that Gaius had thought to tie the hooves with cloth, muffling the clatter they would make against the flagstones of Camelot. He loaded Arthur's gear into the saddlebags of the horse they'd put Arthur on, and clumsily knotted the arms of his jacket around the prince's neck so that the too-small garment could still offer some warmth.

Merlin mounted another of the horses and guided it to the side of Arthur's horse, placing one hand firmly on the prince's back to make sure he stayed in place. Gaius mounted his horse - Merlin was impressed, not for the first time, by his agility - and led the way back through the forest.

"So, what happened exactly?" Gaius asked as they led the horses steadily through the forest the way Merlin had come. "It could be important."

"When I arrived at the lake, Sophia was already standing in the lake with her hand over the water, and Aulfric was chanting something. I couldn't see Arthur. I saw one of the staffs on the ground, so I summoned it and used it to...well...blow them up," Merlin finished a little sheepishly. It wasn't the most elegant thing he had ever done, he knew. "Then I fished Arthur out of the lake. The rest you can more or less see."

Gaius nodded, looking sharply over his shoulder at Merlin for a moment before turning forward in his saddle again.

Merlin's heart was in his mouth the whole way back through Camelot, but Gaius apparently knew all the back ways and somehow they managed to enter the city more or less unnoticed. Merlin frowned at the physician when he turned the horses towards the stables instead of the palace.

"How are we going to get Arthur back to his rooms?" he asked, worried.

Gaius shrugged as he and Merlin slid down from their horses. "We'll have to manage it somehow. We can hardly lead the horses through the castle. We could try to carry him, I suppose - "

Merlin thought of how hard they'd had to work to even get Arthur onto his horse, then considered the armor they also had to somehow carry, and decided that while it was feasible, they could do better. He muttered a few words under his breath, and suddenly Arthur was floating in midair between Merlin and Gaius.

Gaius stared at him. "Why didn't you just do that before, Merlin?" he asked, exasperated.

"Um...it would have looked suspicious in daylight?" Merlin tried. Gaius just stared at him. "I don't know," he admitted, suddenly angry. "I didn't think of it, all right?" He turned to take Arthur's things off his horse, not looking at the older man. He was confused and angry with himself. He knew himself well enough, or thought he did, to know he _should_ have at least thought of the possibility much earlier. How had he overlooked it?

He struggled silently with the question as he floated Arthur down the hallways of the castle to his room, took back his jacket and helped Gaius get Arthur into bed. He just left Arthur's armor in a pile in a corner of his room. He knew he might get into trouble tomorrow, but somehow he just couldn't bother himself to put it where it was supposed to go. Instead, he only looked at Arthur for a few moments, reassuring himself that he was going to be all right, before following Gaius back to their rooms.

He'd felt exhausted all night, but somehow he found he couldn't sleep. He ended up waiting until the physician was asleep, then, for lack of anything better to do, poking through the books on magical creatures that Gaius possessed, searching for the book with the chapter on the Sidhe, and returning to his room to read it when he'd found it. He'd meant to read through the entire section, but he ended up shoving under his bed before he'd read three pages and staring irritably at the ceiling, waiting for either morning or sleep to come and wondering why he still felt so uneasy about that which should have been over and done.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry it's been a while, I'm sort of slow... . But anyway.**

Merlin woke up that morning in a complete panic, with the events of the previous afternoon replaying themselves in his mind. His eyes snapped open and he was confused to find himself in his own bed, flinching at the morning sunlight streaming through the window onto his face. Hadn't he just been knocked against the wall by Aulfric's staff?

"Arthur!" he said desperately under his breath, and the next second he had thrown open the door to his room and was hurrying as quickly as he could through Gaius' workshop without tripping over anything or colliding with the tables. Gaius, fully clothed and already beginning his work for the day, turned to look at him, surprised, and then, seeing the look on Merlin's face and his air of complete disarray, immediately moved to intercept him.

He stepped right in front of the warlock, forcing him to stop his frantic advance, and put his hand on Merlin's shoulder. "What is it, Merlin?" he demanded, holding him in place.

"Arthur! The Sidhe, Sophia and Aulfric, they've taken him to the lake to be sacrificed! I have to help him!" Merlin said desperately. "How long - "

"Merlin," Gaius said slowly, staring at him sharply, "that already happened. Don't you remember?"

"...What?" asked Merlin after a moment, completely bewildered.

"You already rescued Arthur from the lake," Gaius informed him. "He's up in his rooms now, and will probably wake up soon."

Merlin took a breath as though to speak, then bit his lip, looking disconcerted. "Oh," he said finally, looking uncertainly up at the physician. "Really?"

Gaius raised an eyebrow. "You don't remember anything at all?"

Merlin shook his head, staring at the ground in concentration as he thought. "No," he said after a moment. "I mean, yes. I don't know. I guess..." He turned abruptly away from Gaius and walked back into his room, shutting the door quietly behind him. Gaius stared after him for a few moments before turning back to his work, frowning to himself.

A few minutes later Merlin reemerged fully dressed, with jacket and neckerchief properly in place. "Are we going to see Arthur now?" he asked Gaius, walking up to him.

He turned to look at him. Merlin's voice was much calmer, but Gaius still detected uneasiness hidden in his expression. "I was about to go check on him, yes. You can come along if you like. Do you want any breakfast, Merlin?" he asked, watching him keenly.

Merlin shook his head, wincing slightly. "Not hungry, thanks. I'll come with you."

Gaius nodded to himself, looking distinctly unhappy. "All right, then. Before Arthur wakes up, though, we need to get our story straight..."

Between them, Gaius and Merlin managed to come up with the complex three-layer truth they needed: the real one they both knew, the one they told Arthur, and the one everyone else was to be told. Fortunately, Arthur swallowed everything they told him, although Merlin noticed he looked both mortified and incredulous that _Merlin_ had _ever_ managed to knock _him_ out, of all people. Merlin cringed internally at Arthur's reaction - he guessed he might regret that particular lie in the near future - but the choice of explanations had been rather limited and this had been the best they could come up with.

Then there was the audience with Uther to deal with. Merlin had to cover Arthur's tracks one more time, and while he had sort of hoped he might be able to get out of the inevitable result just once, this proved to be truly impossible. It was the stocks for him again, for what was hopefully the last time, at least in the foreseeable future.

Gaius looked at the youth beside him as they headed away from the giant double doors. He looked sheepish and a little exasperated to find himself minutes away from having rotten vegetables thrown at him for Arthur's sake _again_, but there was still a trace of a sort of disconnectedness in his eyes that worried the physician.

"Merlin," he said suddenly, as their paths were about to diverge. Merlin stopped and turned to look at him curiously. "Don't overexert yourself. You had a hard night yesterday."

Merlin nodded dubiously, acknowledging his statement if not the command, then walked out onto the streets of Camelot towards his vegetable-y fate.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Aw geez, I was trying to finish this one faster, then I look up and it's been long again. Sorry : ( Hope you like!**

Considering the look on Uther's face, Merlin had been expecting to be kept in the stocks all morning, probably late into the afternoon. So he was surprised - and a little apprehensive - when Arthur came by after only a few hours, bringing the key to the stocks with him.

"You're coming to release me?" he asked, incredulous, as Arthur skillfully dodged a couple of poorly thrown tomatoes in attempt to reach the lock.

"What does it look like?" he said, opening the lock and lifting the upper half of the contraption off Merlin's neck and wrists. "I need you for something."

Merlin stood up, glancing at Arthur suspiciously as the children gathered around with the stocks yelled at him in disappointment. "For what?"

"Training. If I don't keep to my normal schedule, my father will be suspicious."

"Wouldn't you usually train later?" Merlin asked.

"Regrettably, I'm busy this afternoon," said Arthur, smirking in a way Merlin _knew_ meant trouble. "I wouldn't want to miss another day of practice. Since, apparently, I could really use some." He started walking back up the street towards the palace training grounds, obviously expecting Arthur to follow him.

_Oh, no,_ Merlin thought to himself. "Didn't Gaius tell you to not train for a few days or something? You know, just to be safe?" he asked desperately, hurrying to catch up with the king's son and leave his disappointed "fans" behind.

"Gaius worries too much," Arthur said, rolling his eyes. "Besides, not looking suspicious in front of my father is more important. Don't you agree?"

"Do you _really_ need me to help you with this?" Merlin tried as a last resort.

"Would you rather stay in the stocks, Merlin?" Arthur demanded, turning to look at him.

Merlin swallowed hard. _Actually, I think maybe I would._

***

"I don't really want to do this," Merlin pleaded. He could guess exactly what Arthur was thinking, and it _really_ didn't bode well for him. The near ton of armor Arthur had them put on for training didn't make him feel any safer at all; if anything, it made him even more uncomfortable.

"It doesn't matter what _you_ want, Merlin," said Arthur, lowering his visor and raising his practice sword. "Besides, you know you can beat me now. So I want you to show me exactly what you did to knock me out, and I'll show you exactly what I _should_ have done to stop you."

Merlin stumbled a few steps backward automatically, so that Arthur couldn't jump on him without warning. Being splattered with rotten tomato was looking like paradise at this point. "Actually, I just sort of snuck up on you," he invented.

"You, sneak up on me?" Arthur asked sarcastically.

Merlin nodded desperately. "You were sort of distracted...you know...with Sophia and everything."

"Really." Arthur swung his sword in a fancy arc - for the sole purpose, Merlin was convinced, of making him even more nervous - and put it back in its sheath in one smooth moment. "Very well then. Sneak up on me."

"How am I supposed to sneak up on you if you know I'm there?" Merlin asked desperately.

"I wouldn't worry about that. Considering the way you usually try to sneak, I probably knew you were there last time, too." Arthur was, admittedly, enjoying making Merlin twitch. It was good for him once in a while. But still, he really wanted to beat Merlin just one more time, just to be certain he still could.

Merlin really, really wanted to back down, but he couldn't. This wasn't just about trying to prove himself against Arthur in physical battle - they both knew that in almost any kind of fight, Arthur had the supreme advantage. But it was vitally important this time for Merlin to at least hold his own for a little while. If Arthur figured out how truly impossible it was for Merlin to overpower him under any circumstances, he might begin to doubt Merlin and Gaius's cover story and demand the truth. That would be very bad. He had to at least beggar belief here.

"All right," he said uneasily. He moved in a circle so that he was behind Arthur. Wielding his sword like a long branch for the sake of realism, he tried to run up to Arthur and awkwardly bash him on the head with it.

It was a very, very bad plan, but it was the only thing Merlin could come up with on short notice.

The end result was pretty much what both would have expected. Before he was even within a foot of Arthur, the prince spun to face Merlin, drawing his sword in one lightning-fast movement, and knocked the sword/club from Merlin's hand with a single easy blow. Following through with the movement, Arthur sidestepped and allowed Merlin's awkward momentum, exacerbated by his armor, to carry him right past Arthur. The he rapped Merlin smartly on the back of his helmet, just enough to make it clang loudly. Arthur grinned widely - he hadn't had an excuse to do that since he'd been training Merlin to guard his head while fighting.

Merlin tried to turn to face Arthur again, probably expecting some sort of follow-up attack, but he tripped over his own two feet and fell spectacularly, his helmet striking the ground awkwardly as he landed spread-eagled on the grass of the training field.

"That," said Arthur, "is what should have happened when you 'snuck up' on me. I admit, I'm amazed you managed to knock me out at all. I'm actually even a little impressed. Come on, then. Maybe you'll do better with a second go."

Merlin didn't answer. "Come on, Merlin," Arthur taunted. "At least pretend you have any chance at all. I only have your word that you've ever defeated me. Keep this up and I'll be forced to believe it's never happened." He walked over to Merlin and grudgingly offered the manservant his hand. He could be gracious in his victory, after all, even though he expected Merlin to ignore his offer of help.

Instead, Merlin still didn't move. Arthur couldn't see his expression - his helmet had been knocked askew, so all he could see was the side of his face. Impatiently, he reached down and tugged Merlin's helmet off. He lay on the ground, eyes closed, unresponsive.

Arthur stared. There was no way he had knocked Merlin unconscious. After so many years of training, he knew his own strength, and he knew there was no way he had hit his manservant that hard. Merlin had endured dozens of blows like that when Arthur had been trying to train him to use a blade. Maybe he had hit his head in the fall, but even Merlin couldn't be _that_ clumsy. Could he?

Arthur shook his manservant's shoulder, hard. "Merlin!" he demanded.

"They demand a sacrifice," Merlin muttered incomprehensibly.

"What?" Arthur rolled his eyes. "Merlin, stop being an idiot and wake up."

Merlin opened his eyes and stared at Arthur, frowning as though trying to put him into focus. More than anything, he looked extremely annoyed. "Not _again," _he complained to the world at large. "This is completely unfair."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Wow, this is really long. Didn't know where to break it, though. **

_"Not _again._ This is completely unfair."_

Arthur didn't understand this comment either, so he chose to ignore it. Standing, he offered Merlin a hand up. The manservant took it without comment, levering himself to his feet.

"Are you all right?" Arthur asked cautiously.

Merlin looked at him with his distinctive blank "lying" look, swaying dangerously on his feet. "Yeah, I'm fine." One of his hands reached up unconsciously to the back of his head, and he closed his eyes tightly, as though the world were too bright.

"Don't lie, Merlin," Arthur said, rolling his eyes and moving to put an arm under Merlin's shoulders - his manservant looked like he was about to collapse. Quickly, Arthur scanned the area around the training ground.

He spotted a telltale patch of yellow in the distance. "Gwenevere!" He called, hoping she could hear him at this distance. "Gwen!" Even so far away, he could see Gwen cock her head curiously before she headed over.

"What are you doing?" Merlin asked cautiously.

"Getting you some help," Arthur snapped.

"No," Merlin protested, "I'm - "

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur said shortly, then started pulling off his manservant's armor. "Help me with this."

Merlin recognized Arthur's _don't-argue_ tone and started trying to help Arthur get off Merlin's practice armor. He couldn't seem to get his fingers to behave at all, though, so after the third time Arthur shoved his hand out of the way with impatience, he gave up fussing with the fastenings and had nothing to do but look up at Gwen, who was staring at them, confused.

"What is it, sire?" asked Gwen respectfully.

Arthur handed Merlin his armor and stepped back, leaving just one hand on his shoulder. "Could you conduct my manservant to Gaius's chambers, please, Gwenevere?" asked Arthur, with that strange combination of mocking and respect that he seemed to reserve for the maidservant whenever she caught his attention. "I think he might need some assistance."

Merlin looked mortified and mutinous, but before he could argue, Arthur turned and walked away across the field.

"Okay," said Gwen, looking at Merlin. "What was that all about?"

"Uh, nothing," said Merlin quickly. "Nothing to worry about. It's fine." He swayed slightly again, then tried to walk back towards the castle, only to find that his sense of balance was faulty, too. Gwen caught him before he could fall, wrapping her arm firmly around his chest, keeping him upright.

"Merlin, what's wrong?" she asked, looking worriedly up at him. They started walking back towards the castle, Gwen still supporting him.

"Um," said Merlin, trying to come up with an explanation. _Why, why, why did it have to be Gwen? _he thought desperately. "I...must have fell wrong while Arthur was training," he finally said.

"Did you twist your ankle?" Gwen asked, still concerned.

"Ah, no," said Merlin before he could stop himself. "Just..." a free hand floated unconsciously towards his head again. "I think I hit my head or something," he finished lamely.

Gwen's eyebrows drew together in a frown as she pulled her head back to look up at him. "...Oh."

"I know, it sounds strange," said Merlin. "I'm just really clumsy, I guess."

"No, it's not that," Gwen said quickly. "It's just, normally I don't think you can hurt your head just falling, is all."

"Oh," said Merlin, looking away. He couldn't exactly explain that this hadn't been the first time, or that he wasn't sure what had happened _this_ time.

They walked on in silence until they reached Gaius' chambers. "Gaius," Gwen called, rapping smartly on the door.

After a few moments, the door opened, and Gaius looked out. "Hello, Gwen. Merlin, what are you doing in here?" He caught sight of the armor tucked under Merlin's arm. "You weren't training with Arthur, were you?"

"Um," Gwen cut in tentatively, "Arthur asked me to bring Merlin back there. He said he fell and hit his head?" she said, looking at Merlin for confirmation.

Merlin grimaced. It made it sound so pathetic and _ridiculous_ when she said it.

Gaius, however, didn't think so. "Merlin!" he scolded. "What did I tell you, after what happened yesterday!"

Gwen looked extremely confused. "Um, what..."

"Merlin sustained another head injury recently," Gaius explained, while Merlin stared at the ground and wished the stone floor would swallow him whole. "I warned him not to aggravate it today, but..."

"You never said that!" Merlin protested.

"You, get inside to your room. Or do you need Gwen to help you?"

"No," said Merlin quickly, pulling away from Gwen. "But...thanks," he added awkwardly with a quick smile, turning to look at her before heading back a little unsteadily to his room.

"Anyway," said Gaius quietly, turning back to Gwen after watching to make sure Merlin really didn't need assistance, "thank you for your help. Could you tell prince Arthur that his manservant won't be able to attend to him for the rest of the day and possibly tomorrow?"

"Actually, Gaius," said Gwen, tugging uncomfortably at her skirt, "I'm already late to see Lady Morgana. I suppose I could - "

"No, that's fine," said Gaius, taking her hint. "If you could just get the message to him eventually."

Gwen smiled, relieved. "All right. Goodbye, Gaius."

Gaius nodded to her, and she hurried out, shutting the door behind her.

***

Merlin was sitting sulkily on his bed, his head in one of his hands - it was really killing him now - when Gaius came in with a small vial in his hand. He sat down next to Merlin and handed it to him without a word. Merlin, recognizing Gaius' pain remedy, drank it quickly, grimacing a little.

He didn't look at the physician. His headache - not to mention feeling completely humiliated in front of Gwenevere of all people - had put him in a poor temper.

Gaius' next words really didn't help. "You're going to have to stay here for the rest of today now, Merlin. I've asked Gwen to explain to Arthur."

"What?" asked Merlin angrily, turning to glare at Gaius. "Why?"

"Because, as I suspected, you already had a concussion, and now you've exacerbated the effects," Gaius explained, sounding annoyed. "I did warn you to be careful."

"I was being careful!" Merlin protested angrily. "But Arthur wanted to train. Apparently he wanted to prove that I really knocked him out. Which I never did, and never could, so it was sort of difficult to prove."

"I'm aware that dealing with Arthur can be difficult, but it's the price you have to pay for keeping secrets," said Gaius gently. "Hopefully, in a day or two, this will all blow over. I want you to try to rest for now, all right?"

Merlin didn't look at him, but his face was hard. "Fine." He reached down and pulled off his boots, and the last thing Gaius saw before he shut the door to Merlin's room behind him was the young warlock lying in his bed, staring sullenly at the ceiling.

***

Gwen dashed into Morgana's rooms, out of breath. "I'm so sorry I'm late, milady," she began awkwardly.

Morgana glanced over at Gwen from where she was sitting, staring out the window. "No, it's fine," she said, standing. "Is something wrong?"

Gwen shook her head, but her expression was worried. "It's just - do you know where Arthur will be later?"

"He's in Uther's council for most of the afternoon. Why do you want to talk to Arthur?" Morgana searched her maidservant's face, concerned.

"Oh, Gaius asked me to tell Arthur that Merlin wouldn't be able to attend to him the rest of today...and maybe tomorrow..."

"What's happened to him?"

"I don't know, exactly," Gwen admitted. "But Gaius said he hurt his head, and he has to rest..."

"What? How did that happen?"

"Something happened yesterday, and then today he was training with Arthur, and he tripped and hit his head...?" Gwen shrugged. "It doesn't make any sense to me, either."

"No. It doesn't." Morgana turned and looked out the window again. "You don't have to worry about telling Arthur, Gwen. I'll do it." More softly, she added, "There's something about all this that they aren't telling."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay...it's ridiculous how long it's been since I've updated. I'm sorry... On another note, I think my writing style's slightly different this time, there's a little more introspection than I usually add. And I also put forward that Morgana can be ridiculously hard to write...but anyway, enough excuses. Forward!**

That evening, Morgana found Arthur leaning against the edge of one of the tables in his room, staring at the wall. He turned around to look at her as she came in. "Morgana," he said shortly, obviously not looking forward to this conversation.

"I can see your mood's as good as ever. Sophia have anything to do with that?" Morgana asked. "You know, I'd say 'I told you so,' but for some people, that just isn't sufficient."

Arthur sighed. "Go on and gloat then. It's not as if I can stop you."

"I didn't come here to gloat, actually. I came to find out what really happened last night." Morgana was staring hard at Arthur, all traces of humor gone from her face.

"You already know what happened," Arthur parried quickly. "Merlin was an idiot and forgot to tell Father I was out hunting."

"You really think I'm stupid, don't you?" she demanded. "I know there's more to the story. I saw you leave with Sophia and Aulfric."

That threw Arthur for a loop for a minute before he answered, "I was just saying goodbye. Sophia's been very kind over the last few days, after all."

Morgana's tone and expression were edging into the truly dangerous now. "Oh, I'm sure she has. And how do you explain what happened to Merlin, then?"

Arthur looked away. "What about Merlin?" Arthur's question was obviously meant to be an uninterested deflection, but Morgana wasn't fooled.

"I haven't seen him, but Gwen says Gaius is keeping him in his chambers for a day or so."

Morgana waited for him to look up at her, but he didn't. She took this as a cue to strike.

"Such a valiant knight, defeating a manservant," she continued, teasing mercilessly. "Did you make him hold one hand behind his back, just to even up the odds a little?"

Arthur gritted his teeth, now staring up at the ceiling before looking down to glare at her. Morgana's baiting was beyond irritating. He didn't want or need to be hearing this, least of all from her. "Did Guinevere say anything about what was wrong?"

"She didn't know any of the details. I was hoping I'd be able to hear a little more from you. He is your manservant, after all. Shouldn't you know what state he ought to be in?"

Arthur's fists clenched on the back of the chair he was standing behind. "I don't know," he said truthfully. "I can't explain it. Besides," he added, "it's not like I know everything about him."

"Arthur," Morgana pleaded, "You know I'm not going to tell anyone. I just want to know what really happened."

Arthur gave up. He could never win against Morgana, anyway. "Fine. I tried to elope with Sophia, and Merlin knocked me out and brought me back here," he said flatly. Morgana stared at him. "Satisfied?"

Morgana didn't speak for a minute – now it was her turn to be surprised. "No," she managed finally, frowning. "That doesn't make any sense."

"It doesn't have to. It's the truth." Arthur looked away again.

"It doesn't explain anything. Sophia worked so hard to get you under her spell, and then she and Aulfric just let you go?" Morgana phrased the question carefully, looking for any sort of response to her choice of words.

There wasn't one. "I don't know, I don't remember any of it."

Morgana looked at Arthur oddly. "Nothing? Nothing at all?"

Arthur shrugged. "I'm taking Merlin and Gaius' word for it."

"And you don't think that's strange?" When Arthur didn't answer, Morgana shook her head. "I don't understand you, Arthur Pendragon." She turned and headed back for the door, but before she passed through it she turned. "One more thing," she added. Arthur couldn't understand her expression. "It's a little strange, but..."

"Yes?" he asked warily.

"You and Sophia didn't ever go swimming, by any chance?" she asked carefully.

Arthur stared at her like she'd gone completely insane. "What?"

Morgana looked at the floor. "Never mind," she muttered, and passed out of sight, shutting the door hard behind her.

Arthur stared after her for a minute, then went back to scrutinizing the wall and thinking.

He really didn't remember much, but if he concentrated long and hard enough, some images would spin themselves out of the gray stone. Most of what he remembered was some sort of blind compulsion, like a rhythm in his head all the time – _Sophia, Sophia, Sophia_. Stupid, but everything else seemed to be blocked behind the name, behind his weird, vanished obsession.

This was not normal. Arthur shook his head, annoyed with himself, and concentrated harder. Behind the weird hum, he could get flashes of images, sounds. Sophia in the forest, staring into his eyes; with him in his room, kissing him; himself before his father's court – he glared at the wall and skipped over that one – then him in his room, and Merlin walking in.

This was what he wanted. He closed his eyes, trying to get the images to come a little more readily, but he could still only get a few fleeting impressions and flashes of words.

He had been folding clothes into a bag, almost without thinking about it. He was running away from Camelot? It was ridiculous, but it seemed to be the case. Merlin was in the doorway, then in his room. They were talking, then arguing. The words themselves were a jumble, except for two phrases.

_"I'm your friend."_

_"No, Merlin, you're my servant."_

The expression on Merlin's face at that moment was also all too clear.

Then Sophia arrived. Some sort of conflict, he couldn't remember, and then...nothing. His memories were just – over, as though that's where things had ended.

Arthur blinked, and winced inwardly. Well, that certainly wasn't going to make him feel any better about himself. He'd been completely unfair to Merlin, after all the times Merlin had stuck out his neck for him recently, and the boy, unusually, hadn't even gotten angry at him – which, for some reason, only made it worse. Arthur would never let anyone but Merlin say it, but sometimes he could be a real _prat_. Great. Just great.

Not to mention, as Morgana had said, these memories didn't tell him anything about anything, except that he had at one point indeed planned to elope with Sophia. Nothing about how, exactly, Merlin had gotten Arthur away, and nothing about his separation from Sophia and Aulfric, either. And also, of course, nothing whatsoever about any sort of head trauma for anyone – him or Merlin.

Arthur sighed. Morgana might as well have said it – in fact, she essentially had: Merlin was his manservant, and in a way, he had a responsibility to keep track of him, for the sake of efficiency if nothing else. If something had happened to Merlin over the last few days, Arthur should have known about it. Well, he'd try not to make mistakes like these again – not really sufficient, he knew, but at least it was a start. Tomorrow, he'd go talk to Merlin, see if he could figure out what had happened, check to see whether he was all right. It was the least he could do.

Morgana thought long and hard as she headed down the stairs towards Gaius' chambers. None of the stories she'd heard yet had been true, that was obvious. What was also obvious, though, was that Arthur believed what he'd said. Asking him any more questions would be pointless and possibly dangerous, given the original source of her disquiet.

There was only one person to go to for answers, and there she would have to tread very carefully.

Her relationship with Gaius was a rather stange one, as though all their conversations had double meanings, and she was constantly missing the hidden ones. She guessed that the secrets behind Gaius' eyes stayed there for her own protection and convenience – she trusted him with her life, more than ever after the incident with Edwin – but sometimes it seemed the line that he drew between what he would and wouldn't tell her was a frustratingly impassable wall, one she would give anything to see over.

There was something – possibly several somethings – that Gaius wasn't telling her, something he didn't believe he could. A secret he thought she couldn't handle, or perhaps even more than one? She guessed that there was more to herself, to this whole scenario, than she what she could ever independently bring herself to expect.

Someday, she would find out what that _more_ was, she promised herself. Even if it killed her.

**A/N: I've actually been sitting on this for a while (yes, you can kill me now XP), but I wanted to add in another scene at the end of this chapter. I'll have to re-watch this episode before I can write it, though, and it's been delaying this chapter long enough – so it'll be incorporated into the beginning of the next one. Which, with any luck, you **_**won't**_** have to wait more than a year for. Sorry again... **


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